<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Bi-der-Man by AndWeMutate</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29630586">Bi-der-Man</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndWeMutate/pseuds/AndWeMutate'>AndWeMutate</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Marvel Cinematic Universe</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Bisexual Peter Parker, Bisexual Tony Stark, Bisexuality, Coming Out, Gen, Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Pre-Spider-Man: Far From Home (Movie), Sexuality</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 19:02:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,009</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29630586</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/AndWeMutate/pseuds/AndWeMutate</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"The world was a judgemental place at times, opinionated and eager to find flaws in every and any thing. Admitting such an intimate fact could shatter the life he knew, unintentionally alienate family and friends. That’s what kept him up at night and tempted him to conceal this frail, delicate part of himself."</p><p>Peter seeks advice from someone he trusts concerning a private detail about his life that keeps him up at night.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Peter Parker &amp; Tony Stark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>101</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bi-der-Man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/Got_you_memorized/gifts">Got_you_memorized</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this as a birthday gift for one of my best friends. She requested Spider-Son and Iron Dad having a little conversation concerning a very personal topic and I thought it was such a sweet idea so, I tried ;u;</p><p>I really hope I did it justice. Writing Tony Stark is dang hard because he's so witty and I'm simply a potato.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Peter liked boys. He liked girls but he liked boys too. It took him a long time to admit that to himself and it both relieved him and scared him. He couldn’t rationalize the realization at first; it was just a phase or his mind was playing tricks on him. It crept deeper and deeper into his brain and it became an itch he couldn’t scratch. It festered and evolved and became much more than Peter could handle at times.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>At first, it became a nemesis to Peter. It threatened his certainty and his understanding of everything he thought he was sure of. It made him nervous, paranoid and at times, it frightened him. It was unexpected and it rocked him to his core. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thing is, Peter didn’t have an immediate issue with it. It came as a surprise to him initially but it didn’t disgust him. He didn’t fight against it but he was struggling to embrace it. There was no pushback but acceptance was terrifying. To open his heart and allow himself to welcome that nerve-racking truth without hesitation or doubt...was that even possible?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. These thoughts never seemed to settle and they rarely slowed. A million miles a minute, his mind raced and continued to picked up speed, stumbling over itself. It was always a manic race without an end in sight. Exhaustion slammed into him relentlessly and he could just never quite catch up to his anxieties.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Questions and concerns, every hypothetical leaning towards chaos and abandonment thrived in Peter, finding shelter in the dark, quiet corners of the webslinger’s mind. Could Peter fight this seemingly unwinnable war against himself?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He could talk to Aunt May about it? Whenever he considered it, he felt nauseous. Of course, he loved and trusted May, but he wasn’t confident enough to have that conversation just yet, not without throwing up anyway. Ned was another option, MJ too, but that sweaty palm, stomach in knots sort of feeling won out every single time. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Why was it easier to talk about being Spider-Man than the very real possibility that he was bisexual?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>A...Bi-der-Man, if you will.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Wordplay aside, Peter felt stuck. He was stranded on an island, isolated from those he loved because of irrational fears of love becoming conditional and disposable. Plausible? Perhaps. Baseless? Absolutely. His apprehensions were illogical and cruel and he had no way to combat them. No amount of webs or acrobatics could slay the cruel, calm voices in his head which condemned him to a loveless, lonely life. It was truly exhausting. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>But, he didn’t have to fight alone, did he?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter picked up his phone and scrolled through his contacts. He couldn’t breathe for a second and his thought process made him dizzy. He wasn’t about to do this, was he? This was a momentary lapse in judgement, a psychosis that would pass within a few seconds, right?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Hey, Mr. Stark. I’m not bothering you, am I?” Peter’s heart threatened to leap right out of his mouth and plop onto the floor of his bedroom. Tony Stark. Of all the people he could have called, the first person he decided on was </span>
  <em>
    <span>Iron Man</span>
  </em>
  <span>? </span>
</p><p>
  <span>This was a mistake.Hang up. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Hang up!</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>“Not at all, kid. Wouldn’t have given you my personal number if I thought you’d bother me,” Tony teased.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>An awkward, fragmented laugh tumbled out of Peter’s mouth before he could catch it. Nervousness swelled within his chest and he nearly dropped his phone, not realizing his hands were trembling. There was no backing down now, no turning back. Peter risked losing himself in this deep, dark doubt if he didn’t take the plunge and simply ask for help. Mr. Stark had already helped him with so much, way more than he deserved, so was it selfish of Peter to ask for more?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“So, what’s up?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Words. Words! Just pick a few and answer him! Peter stammered and paced around his room, feeling helpless and stupid and God, why did he do this?! He was nowhere near ready, but that was just simply Peter Parker, wasn’t it? Running into danger headfirst without a single care in the worl--</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Pete?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Y-yeah!” Peter answered louder than he expected, startling himself. Calm down. Just calm down. Taking a deep breath, Peter tried again, “Mr. Stark, can I, uh, ask you something? It’s kinda important.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony replied smoothly, “I mean, you already did ask me something, but I’m always up for a twofer.” He chuckled, but kept his tone even, sensing his protege was just a little on edge. “I’m an open book, kiddo.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It took everything in Peter not to begin with, ‘So, I have this friend…’ because he knew Tony would see right through that effortlessly. He owed him honesty, didn’t he? He called Tony because he trusted him and he knew he’d get brutal honesty. No mush or tired generalizations. An honest reaction is exactly what Peter needed.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I, well, Mr. Stark...have you ever...did you ever think that maybe…?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Spit it out, kid.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Do you like boys, Mr. Stark?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Silence. Peter’s eyes widened and his jaw hit the floor. He just asked..holy crap. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Holy crap!</span>
  </em>
  <span> He quickly considered trying to backpedal FAST. Hang up, feign unreliable cell service and subsequently yeet his phone out the window of his room. He needed to excuse himself from this conversation before his head exploded!</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,” Tony answered before Peter could relocate himself to the nearest fire escape. “It’s been, phew, quite a while since I dated a guy but yeah, back in my days as an eligible bachelor, I shared my bed with a gentleman or two. Why do you ask?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter was rendered speechless. Tony answered his question so casually, so honestly, as if it wasn’t an invasive inquiry. For a few seconds, Peter forgot what words were. He’d been holding his breath for longer than he’d realized and his lungs ached. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Was this real? Mr. Stark...Iron Man...he felt the same way Peter did? </span>
  <em>
    <span>Really</span>
  </em>
  <span>?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Before Peter could muster up a reply, Tony asked, “What’s this about, Pete?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It felt impossible, having to explain himself using actual words. They refused to come together, rebelling against Peter like stubborn children. Every time he tried to start, a little voice in the back of his head told him to stop, to give up, and Peter struggled with tuning it out. The voice got louder and louder until it was nearly screaming.</span>
</p><p>
  <b>THEY WON’T ACCEPT YOU.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>YOU’RE A FREAK.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>THEY’LL NEVER LOOK AT YOU THE SAME WAY.</b>
</p><p>
  <b>YOU’RE DISGUSTING.</b>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter’s head hurt and his jaw was clenched so tightly. He had to find a way to silence those voices, a way to be louder than they were...and the only thing he could come up with was to just..talk, using his own voice to override the one rambling on and on in the back of his head. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I think...no, I know I like boys. I like boys the same way I like girls. I just...I know it’s not </span>
  <em>
    <span>wrong</span>
  </em>
  <span> but...Mr. Stark, why does it feel like it is?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Tony took a few seconds to think and the silence made the teen nervous. He had no idea what to expect, no idea how Tony would answer his question. He hadn’t thought this through at all, hadn’t mentally prepared for the toll this conversation would take on him emotionally, but there was no turning back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The way you’re feeling...I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Not in a million years. To feel like a stranger to yourself, having to hide a part of who you are...I get it. I felt pretty much the same way when I realized how I felt about guys, when I was coming to terms with it.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter fought hard to swallow down a gasp. Tony Stark felt like that? But he was so confident and strong. It seemed impossible, the thought of him being unsure and impossibly lost. “Really?” he asked, dumbfounded. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Oh, yeah,” Tony replied, “my first time with a guy, I got myself so ridiculously drunk just to have the balls to even kiss him...that’s also why I can’t drink peppermint schnapps anymore. What a night...anyway…” Tony’s voice trailed off and silence prevailed once again. Peter couldn’t tell if Mr. Stark was thinking back on that memory with fondness or regret. Did he ever wish he didn’t feel that way? Would he rather his life have one less complicated aspect to it?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Swallowing hard, Peter sheepishly asked, “Do you...regret it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why would I? Pete...it’s part of who I am. Can’t change that. I wasn’t going to lock myself back in the closet and hope it undid whatever made me like men </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> women.” There’s a thoughtful silence before Tony asked, “Do you think any less of me, Pete, knowing what you know now?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Perhaps a bit too quickly, he replied, “No, sir, of course not!” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Then, what are you so afraid of?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The world was a judgemental place at times, opinionated and eager to find flaws in every and any thing. Admitting such an intimate fact could shatter the life he knew, unintentionally alienate family and friends. That’s what kept him up at night and tempted him to conceal this frail, delicate part of himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“The people who know, the ones who stay...those are the people that matter. Don’t get bogged down by the people who can’t handle you at your greatest,” Tony said. He was afraid, wasn’t he? Afraid of being abandoned, discarded like trash on the streets of New York City. “You deserve the chance to be happy. You know that, don’t you?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sheepishly, Peter nodded, “Y-yeah…”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Why should it matter who makes you happy, then? Guy or girl? Who gives a damn? Pete, you don’t owe anyone a thing when it comes to your personal life. You do, however, owe yourself honesty. If you can’t be true to yourself, who can you expect to be true to?” Tony paused, hoping the words were penetrating his young protege. He wasn’t just saying these things to hear himself talk, no matter what Captain Rogers may believe. There were real, genuine feelings and Peter deserved real and genuine, maybe more than anyone Tony knew. He was a good kid who was struggling with something scarier than any super villain. He was lost in his own head and Tony was now determined to pull him back out.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>There was a lump in Peter’s throat and a burning sensation behind his eyes. He hadn’t thought of things like that, being true to himself. He’d become obsessed with the thoughts and opinions of everyone else. Never had he simply considered Peter Parker and his feelings. Wishing desperately for acceptance from others, had he forgotten to accept himself?</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His stomach in knots, tears clinging to his lashes, Peter managed to squeak out, “Thank you, Mr. Stark.” </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He chuckled softly, “What for? Just trying to save you from a series of drunken nights of confusion, self-loathing and kneeling in front of the porcelain throne. Wish I had someone to warn me about that all those years ago.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Peter laughed through his tears, desperately trying to dry his eyes with his sleeve. “Thank you so much,” he said again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Don’t mention it, kid. Just be a little kinder to yourself, okay? Got it?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yes, sir.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Alright. Listen, I gotta run before Miss Potts thinks I’m trying to get out of reviewing paperwork...again.” Pausing for a second, Tony spoke again, “Pete?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Yeah?”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Call me if you ever need to talk about anything, anything at all. Line’s always open.”</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The call ended and Peter collapses onto his bed, legs sore from frantic pacing. Like a child, he rubbed his eyes with the heel of his palm, forcing himself to catch his breath and learn how to breathe again.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“I’m...bisexual,” Peter whispered to himself, his lips forming a lopsided smile as the words left his mouth. </span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>beta'd by me so I'm sure there's something wrong with it lol - sorry in advance!</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>